如何“點(diǎn)亮”高考作文

方彥青

新課標(biāo)高考英語考試說明要求考生根據(jù)題示進(jìn)行書面表達(dá)。考生應(yīng)能：（1）準(zhǔn)確使用語法和詞匯；（2）使用一定的句型、詞匯，清楚、連貫地表達(dá)自己的意思。而第五檔(21-25分)作文評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)為：

1. 覆蓋所有內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)。

2. 應(yīng)用了較多的語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯。

3. 語法結(jié)構(gòu)或詞匯方面有些許錯(cuò)誤，但為盡力使用較復(fù)雜結(jié)構(gòu)或較高級詞匯所致;具備較強(qiáng)的語言運(yùn)用能力。

4. 有效地使用了語句間的連接成分，使全文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。

因此，高考作文要想得高分，僅僅做到要點(diǎn)齊全、語句通順還不夠，還需要增加句子的復(fù)雜性，即為作文增加一些“亮點(diǎn)”。在多年的教學(xué)中我總結(jié)了增加作文“亮點(diǎn)”的幾個(gè)小手段，希望能對參加高考的同學(xué)有所幫助。

  一、改變句子的開頭方式。不要清一色的主語開頭，后加謂語、賓語，外加一個(gè)狀語。可以把狀語置于句首，或使用分詞、不定式、With復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)作狀語等。

  原文: I hope you would like the plan and join us.

  修正: Hopefully, you would like the plan and join us.

  原文: The young man couldn’t help crying when he heard the bad news.  修正: Hearing the bad news，the young man couldn’t help crying.

精彩例句：

（1）Usually, no matter how far away or how busy we are, we will try to come home for the celebration.

（2）In order to encourage the students to take outdoor exercise, our school organized a mountain-climbing on April 10.

（3）Bathed in sunshine, we jumped and cheered with joy.

（4）With English words getting popular in both media and daily life, a Chinese dictionary has included 239 of them, leaving the public divided into two opposing groups: “For” and “Against.”

  二、句式轉(zhuǎn)換。為了避免單一的句式結(jié)構(gòu)，可通過句式轉(zhuǎn)換，將陳述句轉(zhuǎn)換為倒裝句、強(qiáng)調(diào)句、疑問句、省略句、感嘆句等多種句式。

  1. 強(qiáng)調(diào)句

原文：My parents praised Ah Fu warmly. It had saved my little sister bravely.

修正：My parents praised Ah Fu warmly. It was our brave Ah Fu who had saved my little sister bravely.

精彩例句：

(1)My experience tells me that it is not what you are given but how you make use of it that determines who you are.

(2)Also, do let me know if you need further information.

2. 倒裝句

原文：We can achieve our goal in this way.

修正：Only in this way can we achieve our goal.

原文：I have never seen such a wonderful film before.

修正：Never before have I seen such a wonderful film.

精彩例句：

(1)Should fish die from serious pollution, so would man! 

(2)Not only has it hurt the feelings of the Chinese people but also it brought shame toFrance.

(3)Only in this way can they grow up to be independent and become truly successful.

  3. 省略句

原文：The school rules state that no child shall be allowed out of the school during the day, unless he/she was accompanied by an adult..

修正：The school rules state that no child shall be allowed out of the school during the day, unless accompanied by an adult.

原文：If I were you., I would take more exercise to keep fit.

修正：Were I you, I would take more exercise to keep fit.

精彩例句：

(1)Some students think that a difficult exam is just like a challenge．The harder, the better．

(2) If partly rebuilt, it will provide a comparison and help us remember the history.

4. 疑問句

原文：I know your company isn’t far from home. You can walk to the office.

修正：Your company isn’t far from home, is it? Why not walk to the office?

精彩例句：

(1)Even worse, if there were no change about that, diseases would spread at a very quick speed. Is there anything that can be worse than this?

(2)Would you please meet my uncle at the airport and take him to his hotel since this is the first visit to theU.S.? Thank you in advance!

5. 感嘆句

原文：It was a wonderful day.

修正：What a wonderful day it was!

精彩例句：

Each of them is crying, “Where is my home?” What a terrible sight!

  三、句式合并。通過合句，將兩個(gè)或兩個(gè)以上的簡單句轉(zhuǎn)換成并列句、主從復(fù)合句或分詞作狀語等形式，增強(qiáng)句子的連貫性、表現(xiàn)力和復(fù)雜性。

  原文：He stopped us half an hour ago. He made us catch the next offender. 修正：He stopped us half an hour ago and made us catch the next offender.  原文：We had a short rest. Then we began to play happily. We sang and danced. Some told stories. Some played chess.

修正：After a short rest，we had great fun singing and dancing，telling jokes and playing chess.

原文：China has achieved a lot in recent years. Its achievement is known through the world.

修正：(1)What China has achieved in recent years is known through the world.

(2)It is known through the world thatChinahas achieved a lot in recent years.

(3)As is known through the world,Chinahas achieved a lot in recent years.

(4)Chinahas achieved a lot in recent years, which is known through the world.

精彩例句：

(1)Besides, you can introduce a western festival, such as the Christmas Day, the New Year or the Thanksgiving Day, which must be not only meaningful but also interesting. 

(2) At noon or after school we play ball games, swimming and running. 

(3) What’s more, it is believed that people now take a more positive attitude to tourism, and regard it as a life style.

四、使用插入語、關(guān)聯(lián)詞或過渡詞。恰當(dāng)?shù)氖褂眠^渡性詞匯，可以使文章有行云流水、一氣呵成之感。常用詞語有：

1.并列與遞進(jìn): then(然后)，besides(還有)，furthermore(而且)，moreover(此外)，not only…but also(不但……而且)，for one thing…for another（一則……二則）等。

  2.轉(zhuǎn)折: however(然而)，but(但是)，on the country(相反)，after all(畢竟)等。

  3.總結(jié):finally(最后)，at last(最后)，in brief(總之)，in conclusion(最后)等。

  4.強(qiáng)調(diào): indeed(確實(shí))，certainly(一定)，surely(確定)，above all(尤其)等。

5.對比: in the same way(同樣地)，just as(正如)，on the one hand…on the other hand(一方面……另一方面)等。

精彩例句：

（1）In short, not only has the inclusion poisoned Chinese, it may also bring about distance between the Chinese people.

（2）In fact, Chinese has never stopped taking words from other languages, say, “ganbu” or “minzhu” from Japanese.

（3）Besides, it is, on some occasions, more convenient to use English words.

五、長短句相結(jié)合。段落中既要有簡單句，也要有復(fù)合句，長短結(jié)合，使得文章錯(cuò)落有致。如：

Here are some details about this activity. （簡單句）To begin with, we will leave the school by bus at 8:00 AM and return at 5:00 PM.（并列句） Besides, there will be a lot of activities such as making Chinese dumplings and giving performances, which will be not only meaningful but also interesting.（復(fù)合句）

六、多種時(shí)態(tài)、主動被動語態(tài)相結(jié)合。根據(jù)提供的情景，確定作文的主體時(shí)間如現(xiàn)在、過去、將來后，可將一般、完成、進(jìn)行等多種時(shí)態(tài)及主動被動語態(tài)相結(jié)合，增加文章的動感。如：

（1）Over the past ten months, we have been busy in preparing for this examination.（現(xiàn)在完成時(shí)） Besides listening to teachers carefully in class, we often work deep into night.（一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)）

（2）Though we lead a better life, our health is becoming worse now.（現(xiàn)在進(jìn)行時(shí)） So "EXERCISE ONE HOUR A DAY，KEEP ILLNESS AWAY" has been raised by the government.（現(xiàn)在完成時(shí)被動語態(tài)）

  七、使用“較復(fù)雜的詞匯”。

  1.使用詞組、習(xí)語來代替一些單詞，以增加文采。如:

  原文：A new railway is being built in my hometown.

  修正：A new railway is under construction in my hometown.

  2. 使用一些很有“洋味”的單詞，使得語言更加地道。如:

原文：Factories, schools, hospitals, cinemas and theatres have been built one after another. .

修正：Factories, schools, hospitals, cinemas and theatres have sprung up one after another. .

  3. 避免重復(fù)使用某一單詞或短語。如:

  原文：I like reading while my brother likes watching television. 修正：I like reading while my brother enjoys watching television.